If there’s one skill that will catapult you in work, love and life, it’s the ability to walk up to anyone, anywhere, anytime, and form a new relationship. I’m willing to bet that the urge to approach someone new—a cute girl on the street, a professional hero at a conference, or a dude at a cafe who seems like he’d be a cool friend—struck you at least once this week. I’m also willing to bet that you let at least one of those moments pass, and decided not to take the leap.
That’s perfectly normal. Approaching a stranger holds all sorts of exciting possibilities: connection, trust, validation. It also holds all of the terrifying risks: discomfort, mistrust, rejection. Evolutionarily, there’s a good reason for this. It can be risky to get outside of your established tribe (a hangover from our caveman days), while staying in your comfort zone guarantees your safety. Let’s be honest: Other people can be scary!
And yet approaching a stranger can literally change your life. Across the 5,000+ students we’ve coached at The Art of Charm, we’ve seen guys land girlfriends, secure interviews, meet mentors, find job opportunities and build a rocking social network by working through their fear of talking to strangers. If you can master this anxiety, and recognize how and when to approach someone new, you’ll quickly find your world opening up in ways you never imagined.
So, here are 8 ways to conquer your fear and master the art of approaching a stranger.