So “...and baby makes three” has relegated your sporty two-seater to the penalty box? Fear not. We have the perfect crossover cure.

The pretenders: BMWs are sports sedans, your dad drives an Infiniti QX50, and your mother-in-law has a Lexus RX Hybrid. Range Rover: Luxury? Yes. Sporty? Not so much.

The contenders: Jaguar and Porsche are sports cars; the Jaguar F-Pace and Porsche Macan are sports cars with two extra doors. The F-Pace shares its 380 hp, supercharged V6 with the F-Type two-seater, and flashes from 0-60 mph in 5.1 seconds. The Macan Turbo with Performance Package ups the ante with a 440hp, twin turbo V-6 and 0-60 in 4.2 seconds. But the F-Pace holds almost twice the cargo. And the all-everything F-Pace First Edition is $69,700, while the Macan will thin your bank account by $86,445.

Bottom line, you can’t go wrong with either. And your gym-rat buddies will still believe you when you tell them you’re into “threesomes.”

John Dinkel is an auto engineer, lifelong racer, and a columnist for Men's Fitness. Follow him on Twitter.