"In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the woman." Never before have 30 words made more sense, so thanks, Tony Montana. What never makes sense, however, is when to use such movie classics in everyday conversation. Until now. Put-downs, cathphrases, and philosophies every red-blooded American male should know. Now you, too, can talk your way into some action.

1. Perform a random act of kindness

"Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happened to pull this shit while I'm in a transitional period, so I don't wanna kill you. I wanna help you."
– Jules Winfield (Samuel L. Jackson), Pulp Fiction

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2. Shame the guy in the next cubicle

"Put that cofee down! Coffee is for closers. I don't see any closers here."
– Blake (Alec Baldwin), Glengarry Glen Ross

3. Reply to a bill collector

"You're an errand boy. Sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill."
– Col. Walter E. Kurtz (Marlon Brando), Apocalypse Now

4. Get deep

"Who's the more foolish – the fool, or the fool that follows him?"
– Obi-Wan Kenobu (Alec Guinness), Star Wars

5. Get deeper

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."
– Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey), The Usual Suspects

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6. Inspire a nerd

"What are you doin' here? You oughta be out in a convertible, bird-doggin' chicks and bangin' beaver!"
– R.P. Murphy (Jack Nicholson), One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

7. Impress a pretentious woman

"My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs!"
– James Bond (Sean Connery), Goldfinger

8. Embarass your grandpa

"Here's an idea: When you tell these little stories, have a point! It makes it so much easier fo the listener!"
– Neal Page (Steve Martin), Planes, Trains and Automobiles

9. Take a look back at your life

"I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture, and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid of my block to get a confirmed kill."
– Private Joker (Matthew Modine), Full Metal Jacket

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10. Do a Christopher Walken impersonation

"Oh, you're talking to me all wrong! It's the wrong tone. You do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Does your mother sew? BOOM! Get her to sew that!"
 – Clem (Chrisopher Walken), Joe Dirt

11. Hide fear behind intelligence

"Sorry Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought."
– Dr. Egon Spengler (Harold Ramis), Ghostbusters

12. Address the board members

"I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cocksuckers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin' iceholes... like yourselves."
– Roman Maronie (Richard Dimitri), Johnny Dangerously

13. Play stupid

"So why don't you make like a tree and get outta here."
– Biff Tannen (Thomas F. Wilson), Back to the Future

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14. Bust out the bravado

"All I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I don't break them for no one, you understand?"
– Tony Montana (Al Pacino), Scarface

15. Converse with a stripper

"We've got, you know, armadillos in our trousers. I mean, it's really quite frightening."
– Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest), This is Spinal Tap

16. Provoke someone into a reaction

"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?"
– Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen), Reservoir Dogs

17. Give your employees a morale-boosting pep talk

"We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? [Holds up prize.] Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired."
– Blake (Alec Baldwin), Glengarry Glen Ross

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18. Rekindle a relationship

"It's a small world when you've got unbelievable tits."
– John Winger (Bill Murray), Stripes

19. Get free bubble gum

"I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum."
– Nada (Roddy Piper), They Live

20. Impress a working girl

"What we have here, Little Yellow Sister, is a magnificent specimen of pure Alabama Blacksnake. But it ain't too goddamn beaucoup."
– Private Eightball (Dorian Harewood), Full Metal Jacket

21. Confuse a youngster

"A flute with no holes is not a flute. A donut with no hole is a danish."
– Ty Tebb (Chevy Chase), Caddyshack

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22. Intimidate customer-service representatives

"If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next. After that, he'll tell you if he wears ladies' underwear. I'm hungry. Let's get a taco."
– Mr. White (Harvey Keitel), Reservoir Dogs

23. Take a stance

"Life is like a mop. Sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and hairballs and things, and you gotta clean it out. You gotta stick it in here and rinse it off and start all over again. You gotta run to a window and say, 'Those floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!'"
– Stanley Spadowski (Michael Richards), UHF

24. Go on a rampage

"There's a kind of freedom in being completely screwed, because you know things can't possibly get any worse."
– Clak Kellogg (Matthew Broderick), The Freshman

25. Explain your popularity with the opposite sex

"Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's usually something unusual."
– John Winger (Bill Murray), Stripes

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