If accountants or computer programmers lived the lifestyle most rock stars do, they would not only be 300 pounds, they wouldn't live longer than two weeks. Yet, some musicians seem to have the unique ability to stay thin despite living on beer, drugs, and road food — while others just keep getting fatter. To show both sides of the stage, we compiled a list of the best and worst rock star abs of all-time. Here's a look at the best:
Growing up in a Detroit trailer park, James Newell Osterberg, Jr. probably stayed skinny due to a lack of food. However, at 64 years old, after a lifetime of abusing his body with drugs, booze, garage rock groupies, and broken glass, Pop still has the abs of an Olympian gymnast. In 2003, he said he does 40 minutes a day of tai chi or will swim about 200 yards in the pool. That's it?! Doctors need to study his DNA and mass-produce his invisibility gene. Reportedly, Elijah Wood will play him in an upcoming biopic. Frodo better get an Ab Rocket.
Secret Weapons: Stage diving, macrobiotic diet, and younger women.
This miniature multi-threat may look too slim and dainty for most men to envy. However, at 53 years old, the Minnesotan royalty still has abs that teen girls covet. He represents the androgynous sex appeal that rock stars embody and he's continued to maintain it better than David Bowie and Mick Jagger. While he may be short, he's fierce, and as comedian Charlie Murphy tells it, he's a great basketball player. High school classmates remember him as quiet, but a great varsity hoops player.
Secret Weapons High heels, veganism, and pickup b-ball games.
Growing up in Hollywood, 48-year-old Kiedis apparently never learned how to wear a shirt. Often times he forgets pants too. That doesn't stop him from running in slow-motion for no reason like in the music video for "Under the Bridge" or dating every woman from Heidi Klum to Sinead O'Connor. If you had abs like his, you'd 'forget' to wear a shirt also. At one point, fellow ab star Dave Navarro and he shared band space. While they claim Navarro left because of drugs, but it's really because there was too much ab ego on stage.
Secret Weapons: Vipassana meditation, cocaine, and juggling models.
The son of a Let's Make a Deal model, the guitarist has skinny genes in his blood. At 44 years years old though, it's realistic he could start to develop a paunch. Especially, since he doesn't have to work at getting women. They just flock to him based off his reputation. Still, the marginally-employed musician seems to get to the gym quite often to keep his six-pack tight. There are multiple photos of him online at Equinox gym in Los Angeles. He probably does it because eyeliner on a chubby guy just looks pathetic.
Secret Weapons: Makeup, Equinox gyms, and a rotating supply of sex partners.
The 6-foot-5 wild ginger Queens of the Stone Age front man doesn't rip his shirt off at every opportunity like others on this list. He prefers to keep his abs behind the curtain, like the Wizard behind Oz. A star high school football player, Homme received multiple scholarship offers to play for various universities. However, he turned them all down to play heavy stoner rock with his band Kyuss. They became known in the LA underground for fighting fans and other bands. Even at 38 years old, Homme still challenges audience members to fights from stage.
Secret Weapons: Fighting, living in the desert, and marrying Brody Dalles of The Distillers to keep him edgy.
See Also: The Worst Rock Star Abs