There's nothing much more to say about Shakira's video for "Can't Remember to Forget You" that hasn't already been said, considering 9 million people watched it already (or maybe it's 4.5 million people who just had to see it twice). And so, to find out what all the buzz was about, we decided to take a little work break to watch Shakira and Rihanna make, um, beautiful music together. Here's our "real-time" play-by-play...
0:01—Ooh, sweeping Caribbean vistas!
0:03—Shakira's caressing a wall, ever so gently. First Rihanna sighting! OK, we guess we'll stick around.
0:10—Before we could stop to wonder why there's a bed blocking the stairwell, Shakira decides to spend the next 20 seconds in a shoulder-baring see-through number, giving come-hither stares.
0:29—Oh snap, the birds on the wallpaper come to life!
0:36—Just when you think Shakira couldn't wear any less, here comes the overhead shot of her rolling around in a barely-there swimsuit.
0:42—Shakira one-ups herself by wearing even LESS! This time, she channels her inner Lady Godiva in a steamy lagoon.
0:56—Shakira gives bootylicious Beyonce a run for her money.
1:15—Rihanna makes her slo-mo entrance!
1:30—Aaaaaand the cigars come out.
1:35—Shakira and Rihanna wrap their lips around cigars and puff. Yes, we just said that.
1:45—Shakira and Rihanna slam walls, and do some hair-ography.
1:49—Aaaaaand Rihanna starts twerking the wall. (Sorry, Miley, we've already forgotten about the VMAs.)
1:53-2:12—Rihanna and Shakira mirror each other's moves. And by moves we mean hip-gyrating up against the wall. Lucky wall.
2:08—More hair-ography. We haven't seen this much head-banging since the 80s.
2:20—RIHANNA AND SHAKIRA, IN BED TOGETHER. No commentary needed.
2:24—Shakira shows off the fruits of her leg workouts.
2:31—Not to be outdone, Rihanna shows off the fruits of her glute workouts.
2:38—RIHANNA AND SHAKIRA, IN BED TOGETHER, ASS-GRABBING EACH OTHER. Again, no commentary needed.
2:41—Shakira shows off her guitar and drum skills. You know, to back up that 80s hair-ography.
3:13—Topless Rihanna teases topless Shakira with a peck on the cheek to illustrate the lyric, "kissing tin the moonlight."
3:18—After all that steamy girl-on-girl, um, bonding, Shakira decides to end the video not with a bang, but a whimper, playing us out in her one-woman band.
Guess that answers the question of what happens when two superstars collide. And now we can't remember to forget this earworm of a song, so mission accomplished, Shakira!