In a new segment on Conan Thursday night, Conan O'Brien and Kevin Hart hit up CrossFit Horsepower in Los Angeles for a "partner workout" with some assistance from celebrity trainer Jen Wiederstrom. And while they did get some sweat in, their day at the gym more or less morphed into a display of rage, inappropriate touching, debates over gym fashion, and wholly unnecessary karate kicks.
So, yeah, exactly what happens when any two dudes go to the gym.
"Oooooh, Conan thinks he's so tough," said Hart, the star of the October 2016 issue of Men's Fitness, between bar muscle-ups.
"I can go up that high," O'Brien snapped back, before trying and failing to heave his torso ("you look like a skinny bean bag," Hart said) over the bar. "A little boost? A little boost! HAND UNDER MY ASS."
There was even a trainer staredown, as Hart's trainer Boss (that's what he calls him) met O'Brien's trainer Reuben. "Reuben works me out twice a month, and then we go over my accounts. Reuben also does my taxes."
Not even their gym style was spared from mockery.
"What are you wearing? This looks like a tuxedo from the year 3015," O'Brien said, comparing Hart's Nike gear (including his Hustle Hart shoes) against his own hodgepodge of generic workout stuff. ("These sneakers? We don't even know who made them," O'Brien said. "They're Romanian.")
Then: "You look like a magician from the future!"
And: "You look like you're on your way to a nice Armenian wedding."
But only when Wiederstrom stepped on-camera did the workout get heated, whether it was medicine ball tosses ("Throw the ball like a man!"), mockery over the crowd at Hart's What Now event in Philadelphia ("It was 53,000!") or sparring: "I'll show you how to spar with Kevin Hart," O'Brien said, holding his gangly arms out of Hart's reach, before Hart flashed his impeccable boxing form and mauled the giraffe-sized comedian into a squat rack.
But hey: If this doesn't sound like your usual workout style (or your gym partner's), you could always go for O'Brien's other favorite form of high-intensity interval training: The 1-Minute Piñata Workout.