You meet an amazing woman. You work your magic. She’s liking it, and working hers on you. Sparks fly. You exchange phone numbers…
…and then you never see her again. Why? According to dating expert Nick Savoy, president of Love Systems, a lot of men kill their chances with bad “text game.” Check out the five worst texts that guys send every day:
1. “Hi” / “Hey” / “What’s up?”
Of course it’s OK to say hi, but if that’s all you've got, you’ll bore her. All you’re saying is that you’d like to flirt, but you don’t really know how, and you’re expecting her to do all the work.
If you really are out of ideas for what to text her, imagine that you already asked how she’s doing, and she said: “I’m awesome! What’s new and exciting with you?” Now start the conversation.
2. “Are you there?” / “Are you ignoring me?” / “Umm, hello?”
Don’t be passive-aggressive or needy.
If she didn’t answer your last text, pretend you never sent it. Wait one day, then text again. If you get crickets, wait two days, text again, and so on.
If she doesn’t respond after a week or two, then her number has “gone cold.” Wait a few weeks, then go with something out of left field. I like “I just met your twin,” but there are a million others.
3. Smiley happy unicorns!
Use a :) sometimes, if it’s really not clear whether you’re joking. Too many, and you sound like a 12-year old girl.
Winks can make normal texts feel creepy. Many women will feel a difference between “let’s hang out” vs. “let’s hang out ;)” It’s OK to be playful and/or sexual. Women often are more comfortable starting to be sexual through text rather than in person. But be sexual on purpose, not because you accidentally used too many winks.
4. “C U L8R ROFLMAO"
Chatspeak was invented when everyone had crappy phones that had to cycle through letters to get to the one you wanted. You don’t still use your crappy phone from 10 years ago, do you? Then why text like you do?
A stray “u” instead of “you” shouldn’t kill your chances, but you’re not tweeting, so write normally. There’s no girl in the world who’ll think “I’m so attracted to this guy because he’s so efficient with character length in text.”
A long-ass text from a guy she doesn’t know well just looks like gibberish to most women. She doesn’t need to hear your life story spread over five texts. She’ll also wonder why you’re trying so hard.
A long text that goes a bit over into a second message is fine. But don’t send anything longer than two texts, and only do that if she’s writing you long ones back.