Five Halloween Costumes (For You and Her)

For the most part, Halloween can be annoying. Things like people asking you for free stuff (trick-or-treating), gang initiations (whether authentic or fabricated), hooliganism (kids throwing eggs at your house or car), poor nutrition (it is inhuman to turn down a mini Snickers), and spending money unnecessarily (on a costume you'll wear for like two hours.) That's why you need an awesome idea to make the night worth your while. Here are five of them:

"Macho Man" Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth
Miss Elizabeth managed Savage throughout wrestling's golden era of the 1980s. They even staged a wedding on air. See? It's romantic!

You'll need: sunglasses, a bandana, fringe sleeves on your tee shirt, tight black jeans, old combat boots, a replica championship belt, a bathrobe, slim jims, a surly disposition.

She'll need: an evening gown, heels, a tiara, and a sash that says, "Miss Elizabeth." All she really has to do is politely clap for you during the night.


Shawn Michaels and Sensational Sherri

Sensational Sherri was one of Shawn Michael's first managers in the WWE. The downside to this one is most people won't get the reference, unless you nail the Michaels outfit. Which most people won't do. So this entry is mostly wishful thinking.

You'll need: Heart-shaped sunglasses, white pants/boots/vest, a mullet, the ability to do a kip-up.

She'll need: Black, ripped clothing, a shrieking voice, long, overdone nails, weird, creepy makeup.

Have her learn his old theme song. That's pretty much it.

Rocky and Adrian Balboa
Sylvester Stallone's iconic character and his dead fish of a wife.

You'll need: boxing trunks, a robe, boots, an Italian accent, a confused look on your face, a glass full of raw eggs, a robot that sings "Happy Birthday Paulie."

She'll need: conservative clothing, a shrieking voice, and a willingness to repeat, "YOU CAN'T WIN!!!" while crying.

Undertaker and Paul Bearer
No way she actually does this, unless you explain to her that you need her to play the pale, obese manager of a pro wrestling legend. Then she'll totally understand.

You'll need: Long, black clothing, makeup to make you look dead, long hair, a big black hat.

She'll need: A suit, a high-pitched voice, attention to detail, a partial lack of self-respect.

Brett Favre and Jenn Sterger

You'll need: a Favre jersey, grey/white hair dye, an open zipper, a phone in your hand all night.

She'll need: A bikini top, FSU gear, heels, and a complete lack of self-respect.

comments powered by Disqus