Three days from the Super Bowl, as our nation ransacks super markets and liquor stores like the most obese country in the world should, the Internet is buzzing with obscene consumption facts. This Sunday is, after all, the second highest caloric gorge fest of the year – behind Thanksgiving, of course.
But stuck between mildly surprising stats like 120 pounds of avocados consumed and 1.2 billion wings shoved down gullets, there’s one figure that’s simply astounding. No really, it’s unbelievable.
Sorry, I know it’s Thursday, but let’s do some math.
If you believe this number (we remain skeptical), every man, woman, and child – all 316 million of us – would have to drink just over a gallon of the good stuff. That’s 128 ounces, or about 10 cans.
While your pregnant wife and four-year-old son start slurping their own six packs (which they need to do if this number is in any way accurate), let’s figure out just how terrible it is for you to drink your own share of the frothy statistic.
A gallon of light beer (because if your stomach can handle a gallon of heavy beer in a day, you’ve got other problems) will cost you just over 1,500 calories and 150g carbs. A 185-pound man would need to stumble (you won’t be running after 10 beers) just over 10 miles to burn it all off.
Assuming you consume the brewskis over a 5-hour span, that same 185-pound man’s BAC would be .135 – legally unable to drive, physically unable to do just about anything besides sing loudly and take a nap on the couch.
So, believe the stat or not, we know you are going to crack a few cold ones before kick-off. Before you do, we recommend you learn how to imbibe like an athlete. Rule one? Do not drink a gallon of beer. But we assume you already know that.