One glorious day, ancient man discovered the pleasures of drinking fermented alcohol. The next morning, we’re pretty sure, he woke with an earthquake in his head, kicked his pet mastodon, and thumped off in search of the very first hangover cure. 

And the hunt has gone on for millennia: The Romans tried to ease wine-soaked headaches by eating fried canaries. The Greeks opted for big bowls of cabbage. The Namibians drank buffalo milk, the Mongolians used pickled sheep eyeballs, and my buddy’s Uncle Steve—well, let’s just say he turned to “hair of the dog.” (Not a good idea—just ask his wife.)

Yet in all this time, man has made near-zero progress toward finding an actual hangover cure. Luckily— especially during this hard-partying season—there are still a few steps you can take to curb morning-after misery. Consider this your holiday hangover attack plan.

Jeff Wilser is the author of Alexander Hamilton’s Guide to Life, to be published by Three Rivers Press in September.