I don’t feel great. The first three days of the All-Bar Diet haven’t been easy. Wednesday: I only had three bars. On Tuesday I only had protein-based bars, so I opted today to eat a Rebar, which is fruit- and vegetable-based. I don’t eat too many veggies normally, so I can see myself actually working this into my normal diet. But since all I’ve been eating is bars, the Rebar's natural sweetness made it tougher to put down. I think I’d really like it if I wasn’t on this diet. I also had a nogii. Surprisingly, it was good. At 30 grams of protein, you’re basically eating a giant, chocolate-covered rice crispy. Of course, all of that comes with 390 calories, but since my diet has been so lean, I look at it as welcomed energy. My final eaten bar was a Power Crunch which, as I noted before, I like a lot. Maybe I can be a spokesperson for them. Just kidding. Thursday:I did attempt another bar that my co-worker Matt advised me about. Supreme Protein Rocky Road is absolutely delicious. At 15 grams of protein, you pretty much get a candy bar, and my favorite part: it’s not sweet at all compared to other bars. I still wasn’t feeling great, though, owing to my lack of total calories for the day combined with a long workout. So I threw up the Supreme Protein bar. Still, a delicious bar nonetheless. Thursday:By now it was clear that I was eating way less than I should have, my caloric intake bordering on runway model, which is why I decided to take action. While my dietician formulated a calculated diet of 11 bars (each one doing one job for my health), I decided to try eating whatever I wanted. This included seven Power Crunch bars and that’s it. By the end of Thursday, I was feeling a lot better, but a little light headed for some reason. Friday: It’s already lunchtime and all I’ve had is one bar and some water over six hours of consciousness. I’m at the point now where I can’t really stomach all the sweetness. The sugar highs, crashes and headaches are a far worse feeling than just being hungry. I mean, I’m still working here at Men’s Fitness—the last thing I need is a crash in the middle of one of my articles. Like I said before, different strokes for different folks. I’ve stuck to the Power Crunch bars because they’re appetizing to me. Nothing against the other bars; it’s just what I like. The same way you choose one soda over another, or why you like a certain candy bar and your friend hates it. I just prefer this bar for no particular reason other than it tastes good, to me. Yesterday I got so depressed about only eating sweets that my co-worker Kate put me in touch with Journey Bars, which happens to make savory bars. If only I had found them earlier. Anyway, I’m not going to sugarcoat this with some kind of Disney movie fighting chance speech. There’s a good chance I won’t make it til Tuesday, heck, if you put a burger in front of me right now, I’d probably eat it. For the sake of my sanity and to prevent further bouts of absolute misery, I may just quit while I’m ahead. Follow my progress on Twitter @GreatWriteHope
After three days of eating nothing but nutrition bars, our editorial assistant is starting to come unglued.