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How to Tell When You're Not Wanted

Does your (bad) rep precede you? Here's how to turn things around.

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No one wants to be “that guy,” but for some reason, you’ve built a reputation that’s wreaking havoc on your ability to make friends, move up in the office, and otherwise get what you want in life. Here are three telltale signs that can help you recognize when you’re on the outside so you can start working your way back in.

1. Awkward Silence

In every group discussion, there are those who are talkers and those who take a backseat in the conversation. This is human nature and it’s good to know or embrace your role. What’s not good is when someone who is typically gregarious suddenly isn't speaking up when you’re around. Odds are, conversation is being avoided for a reason, and it could very well be you.

5 Non-Awkward Ways to Break the Ice>>>

2. Others Answering for You

If you’re in a conversation and your peers proactively say things like, “You wouldn’t care anyway, so don’t worry about it,” it means they’re sick of your negative attitude and are just beating you to the punch. Northwestern University researchers found that if you’re generally morose, people will assume you’ll always be that way and cut you out of conversations.

3. Lack of Recognition

If you find that your friends or peers repeatedly neglect to give you credit, even when you’re certain you’ve contributed something special, it’s a sign that they’d rather not acknowledge you at all. It’s easy to write the group off as a bunch of assholes, but are you sure you’re not the jerk? Bonus tip: If you’re always the last one to know about a social event or are regularly left out, it’s not by accident

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