Q: A co-worker and I have definite sexual tension, but we're both in relationships. How do I know if this is something worth pursuing? I don't want to make a move and ruin things. —Jesse
Good question: Do you do the right thing, or the thing that feels right? Let's look at it logically. We Office Hotties are natural flirts—we can't help ourselves—and that's a huge part of what makes us hot. So the first thing you've got to do is make sure that you're not mistaking normal OH tendencies for more serious come-hithers.
That's not to say what you're feeling isn't genuine. The fact that you're taken, and that you and the OH already have a real friendship, makes you a perfect outlet for her. She trusts you and knows you care about your girlfriend, and that's why she loves to be around you. In short, you're safe. I know, I know—that hurts.
But it's important to face the truth if either of you is going to make it out of this little office flirtation alive. Because you and I both know that the moment you make a move, there's no going back. We've all been there. It starts with a quick drink after work, and next thing you know, she's dropping your tie off at your desk in the morning and acting like she doesn't know you in the halls. Then the game's all over, and nobody wants that.
Of course, this is all based on one key assumption: that your OH isn't a total trollop. In that case, you can bet that she's just waiting to take your lunchtime footsie to the next level. And you can also wager that once you do, you're going to wish you hadn't. Because it'll just be a matter of time before 1) you realize you don't even like her, 2) she moves on to the next guy, or, 3) worst of all, your girl finds out.
Ultimately, it's your call. Do you want the OH as your lady or are you just bored by your long-term relationship and craving a little excitement? My advice: Stick to the harmless fun at work, and take all that built-up sexual energy home to your girl. It'll add the spice you need in your own bedroom, and save you a whole world of grief.
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