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Ask Men's Fitness: I have short hair, which I’d like to grow long and maybe wear in a ponytail, either pulling it all back or just the top. Is that a good idea?

No, I don’t think the ponytail is a good idea. What’s the point of having long hair if you’re going to pull it back all the time? And the whole top-of-the-head man bun thing is sloppy. There’s nothing becoming about it.

I don’t know if guys do it to portray a sensitive side, but it’s the dumbest f*cking look I’ve seen. I’d rather cut a mullet than a man bun.

But if you want to, sure, grow it out. Cut the sides and the back short and leave the top, blending it in. When it hits your ears, it’s going to annoy the f*ck out of you. Then comes the last stage, when it gets in your ears and eyes. After that it starts looking like a bob, a girl’s cut. Most of these stages suck—you’ll just have to grin and bear it.

When you get your long hair, leave it down—and definitely don’t use a rubber band or you’ll have breakage. You got long hair, let it flow!

Shorty Maniace is the proprietor of J.P. Kempt Barber & Social in San Francisco. Send your questions to

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