Snap Out Of It

by Eric Butterman

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The Chicago Bears let the Indianapolis Colts get away - like snaps falling through Rex Grossman's guarded fingers - and will be forgotten along with every other Super Bowl team that came up short, except for just that, coming up short. The Miniscule of the Midway had nearly every impossibility they could hope for. The skies opened up, and while the underdogs didn't receive the seemingly-on-cue snow of just the previous game at Soldier Field, they were given Manna in the form of rain, lots of rain, the kind which should wash away a dome-friendly Colts team and send a Bear from hibernation to coronation. It was as if Miami shrugged its barometric shoulders and said, "We can't give you flurries, but, uh, will this do?" It should've.

So should've Adam Vinatieri's rare field goal miss. Or taking a team with a brilliant success rate in the red zone and turning their AFC champion cheeks red by allowing one measly touchdown out of six opportunities inside the 20. Would you like an opening advantage? Now serving Hester, party of six points. How about forcing the other team to squib kick the rest of the game because of it, allowing the Bears regular starting position beyond the 30, which, at the minimum, should've allowed Pro Bowl placekicker Robbie Gould to put on a field goal clinic. Instead, he was only allowed one attempt. A good one, of course.

How about if the Colts hand you three turnovers? Sound more than fair? Not when you turn the ball over five times yourselves-one by PW (a new statistic for anything Pop Warner kiddies can do, like, say, get the snap from center, or did I somehow mention that mistake already?)-the only reason you lost. Some critics will insist it came down to Grossman's fourth quarter brain freeze interception with just under 12 minutes to play, or Manning's amazin' adjustments at the line, which in my opinion were about as fresh as Henny Youngman's favorite punch line-seriously, do pros really fall for this!-but, in the end, the scoreboard said five-to-three in a game you always desperately hope to lose. Turnover. It's something more than football, it's what George Halas did repeatedly from a resting position Sunday night.

And when Chicagoans wake up Monday morning, or whenever the soupy blue and orange depression lifts, they might ask themselves how many times the Bears lost this once-exciting-but-ultimately-disappointing season when turning the ball over three times or less? And when they figure out that somber trivia answer a few may still even generously, or at least begrudgingly, choke out in a lilt of a fallen whisper, "We still got to play in a Super Bowl." Or "We never thought we'd make it this far, so we should be happy." Or "Dungy's a really good guy so it's not so bad."

Yeah, it's bad. It's really bad. The Colts embarrassed the AFC Sunday with lackluster play, but the Bears embarrassed a whole city. Chicagoans are the kind of people who don't mind losing at something as long as they didn't beat themselves. Now they can beat themselves up for the rest of a cold winter. And they didn't even get to take a snap.

Eric Butterman is a contributor to ESPN.com, the Sporting News and Men's Fitness. He can be reached at ericbutterman@yahoo.com.