Some moron at the bar starts beefin' because he's six drinks too deep and thinks his girlfriend is flirting with you. Enough said. Dude is coming for you, and you don't know shyte about fighting. What you do know is he's 13 feet taller, 50 pounds heavier, roid-raged, and full-on drunk-strong right now. Your only hope is to hit him and hit him good. Dive bar, or classy joint, it still goes down. Here's your Internet crash course on how to knock a dude out courtesy of Ross Enamait, a boxing trainer and former boxer in Vernon, Conn.

How to throw a jab

The jab is thrown with the lead hand. Begin with the knees slightly bent, feet staggered, chin down, and hands raised by the sides of your face (start from this basic fighting position before throwing any punch). Push off your back foot and snap the jab out quickly. The lead foot will slide forward slightly before impact. For maximum power, twist your arm in a corkscrew motion before landing.

How to throw a cross

Also called the "straight right hand" (if you're right-handed), it starts from the face and follows an imaginary straight line directly into the target. Drive and pivot from the rear foot, rotating the hips forcefully as your body weight shifts toward the front foot. Extend your right arm toward the target, snapping your wrist downward. On impact, the palm is down and the knuckles up.

How to throw a hook

Shift your weight toward the rear leg as you rotate forcefully to that side and pivot inward on the ball of your front foot. At the same time, whip the lead arm toward the target in an L shape (the elbow should be bent about 90 degrees). Turn your hips into the punch. You can angle your hand one of two ways: vertically, so your palm faces you on impact, or horizontally, so the palm faces the floor (as shown).

How to throw an uppercut

Subtly shift your weight to the hip on the side of the rear leg. Dip that side's shoulder as you crouch down a bit. Next, with the palm up and the arm bent 90 degrees, forcefully rotate toward the side of your lead leg and push off the ball of your back foot, driving the punch upward (aim for the chin of your imaginary opponent). On impact, your palm should face your chest.

How to take a punch

About to get clocked? Here's how to avoid hitting the mat. Keep your eyes open—don't blink—and focus on your opponent's chest to spot any muscle movements that'll indicate an incoming bell ringer. Next, "slip" the punch, which means moving your head to the side—that way, you'll deflect the hook's full force. Finally, tuck your chin. This is a matter of discipline, but it's the best way to prevent an embarrassing TKO. Prefer to run away? Here's 10 workouts to help you run faster. You know, just in case.