“Whenever clients set goals, I have them ask themselves, ‘Why?’” says Grasso. The reason you want to, say, drop 25 pounds is never simply because you’d like to be 25 pounds lighter. You assume it will make you <a href="http://www.mensfitness.com/grooming-guide">look better</a> and make you more attractive to others; and that, in turn, leads to happiness. Grasso calls the perceptions about what you want and the various sources that influence them your “story,” and he recommends writing it down. “You might be surprised by what comes out,” he says. It’s often anger and cynicism, comparing yourself with others. Once you know what your story is, you can begin to act on it and change it—hence the name of his <a href="http://www.mensfitness.com/training/build-muscle/5-personal-trainer-apps... program, the Change the Story Method. When you figure out why a certain goal is important to you— and that it’s not just a passing fancy that’s covering up some other issue—you’re more inclined to go after it.
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Release The Pressure
“We’re taught to <a href="http://www.mensfitness.com/training/6-steps-to-fitness-success?page=1">set a goal</a> by assessing what we want and then making it specific and measurable [in terms of] time,” says Grasso. “But it’s built off this pretense that we control time.” If you’re being pragmatic about it, you don’t know how long it’s going to take to lose 25 pounds—not when you factor in all the curveballs life can throw you, most of which Grasso says aren’t your fault and are out of your hands. If we don’t achieve our goal in the time we’re allotted, we associate that with a fail, Grasso says. Rather than hang your hopes on a specific end date, detach from the outcome completely. For instance, a guy looking to <a href="http://www.mensfitness.com/training/lose-weight/how-to-get-lean-25-ways-... weight</a> could set a goal to merely be physically active every day. Start by taking a walk. Later on, you’ll find yourself jogging, or climbing trees, of lifting weights. “It becomes contagious,” says Grasso. “If you try to quantify it— what exercise, when, how much—you lose it. If you detach from that, you’ll find your way naturally.”
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