It's an every-weekend scenario: You're at a bar, restaurant, or coffee shop and you see a woman you’d like to meet, but you don’t know how to start talking to her. Well, join the crowd—“breaking the ice” is one of the biggest challenges for guys. That's why we tapped expert dating coach Nick Savoy, president of Love Systems and author of the Magic Bullets Handbook, for five solid opening lines that won't make you sound awkward—or like a complete ass.
1. “Hey, settle this for us…”
This is a great way to go “under the radar." Ask her if your friend should grow a mustache, or if kissing is cheating, or if drunk “I love you's" count. This should be spontaneous, like you were talking to your friend and she just happened to be the nearest random stranger you asked. Be sure there’s some kind of follow-up story if she asks why you’re asking. You can ask about anything, but emotional (not logical) topics where everyone can have an opinion are best.
2. “Hey, can you hold this for a second, please?”
This one also works great if you happen to be standing near her (or can maneuver yourself into position first). Ask her if she can hold your drink for a second, preferably while you’re about to demonstrate something awesome to one of your friends. You know she’ll be watching. Then when you take the drink back, you can start talking to her like nothing happened.
3. “Are you shy?”
This one's a little more flirtatious. She’ll probably say no, or ask why you asked her that. That’s when come back with, “I’ve been standing over here and you haven’t started talking to me yet.” Be playful, not serious.
4. “Sorry, there’s no fun/dancing/drinking/[whatever] here.”
Like “Are you shy?” this one's a bit silly and playful, but also flirtatious. This works best if it’s obvious that what they’re doing is OK, like drinking at a bar. Be the fun police for about a minute—or as long as you can keep a straight face—and then drop the act with something like, “I was just messing with you. But you guys seem kind of cool. Where are you all from?”
5. “You look stunning. I had to come over and see if there’s more to you. I’m [NAME].”
This is what we at Love Systems call a “direct opener." You make your intentions clear. But notice that this conversation-starter doesn’t put her on a pedestal or make you seem needy or desperate. She’s cute, you acknowledge that, but you instantly position yourself as the kind of man for whom being hot is a ticket to play, not a ticket to win. In other words, the kind of man a hot girl wants.
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