There was once a time when you and your Psych 101 classmate could go from hitting the books to hitting the sheets without having to define “where this is going”. But if you’re older, somewhat wiser, and still not ready for commitment, what’s a guy to do?

“Post-college, you may still have female friends who really want to get laid but have a hard time finding a guy they can trust with whom to have that relationship,” says relationship expert Natasha Burton, author of 101 Quizzes for Couples. So, if she’s got what you need, but she says she’s just a friend, there may be hope for you yet.

Still, there are many, many ways a "friends with benefits" relationship can quickly turn into a disastrous, friendship-ending fiasco. Check out these tips on how to make sure everyone is satisfied—and nobody gets hurt.