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9 Dumb Things Not to Do on a First Date

Dumb First Date Move #7 - Brag about yourself
You absolutely want her to know about your best qualities. But you want to communicate them to her in a way that she finds interesting and compelling, not braggy or insecure.

It’s natural to talk about yourself – or blurt out anything – when you’re nervous or feel an awkward pause in the conversation (another reason to avoid dinner and a movie). But it’s OK on dates to let a silence develop and let her fill it once in a while. It’s not like at a bar, where she could wander off any moment and you need to keep the energy level high at least for the first few minutes.

You’re best off revealing your good qualities through a Love Systems technique called embedding. Tell a story about something you’d tell anyway, but fit in ‘incidental’ details for her to ‘discover’ about you.

For example, you could tell a funny story of something that happened at a restaurant, mentioning in passing this took place during you last trip to China. If the “China” angle is purely incidental, the reference will seem incidental. In doing so, you’ve conveyed that you’re a traveler and must have at least a certain amount going for you. For more on this, there’s a great Love Systems article (with examples) about how to tell stories to meet women.

Dumb First Date Move #8 – Being negative
You’ve probably heard by now not to be negative about your ex-girlfriend, and that’s good advice. But it’s even better not to be negative in general. People who are negative about their family, friends, career, etc., usually aren’t very happy people or much fun to be around.

Just as importantly, guys who complain about everything don’t generally have very good lives. Instead of believing that everyone in your life has randomly done you wrong, she might reason that the common element in all of your complaints is you.

Be positive. It’s easy to do and will make a big difference.

Dumb First Date Move #9 – Making a second date
This might seem paradoxical. Presumably, if you are attracted to each other, you want a second date. That’s true, but you still don’t want to make the second date during the first.

Flirting and romantic tension is part of the process for a lot of women, and if she knows that she’s earned a second date already, that deprives her of wondering when you’re going to text or call to invite her out again. You won’t come across as much of a challenge – and, as I wrote in my book The Magic Bullets Handbook, being a challenge is one of the eight crucial factors to attract beautiful women. Press too quickly for a second date and she might start to doubt her attraction to you.

A partial exception – you can make vague long-term plans during any date as long they’re not specific – e.g., “You like sushi too? Awesome, we should go to that new place on the beach sometime this summer." Just don’t get specific or make firm plans.

Nick Savoy is the President of Love Systems and a regular contributor to Men’s Fitness. Follow him on Twitter @LS_Savoy.

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