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Date Her or Dump Her?

How do you know when to take it from “seeing each other” to officially official? Here, 10 solid ways to tell if she’s long-term relationship material.

7. She’s not plagued by her exes. She doesn’t have to be BFFs with her Little Black Book, but she certainly shouldn’t be mortal enemies with all the men from her past. If she is, the next adversary she makes could be you. “If she hates her exes and is still fighting with them, she isn’t really available to you or is letting you know how things will end,” Frances says. “She should be free and clear.”

8. She respects your faith, family and friends. These three Fs are non-negotiable: friends, family, faith. If she makes it clear she’s not down with any one of them, then you better not get down with her. “This is a weird one that many guys try to rationalize away, but it can be the biggest source of problems down the road,” Frances says. Even if she’s of a different faith, doesn’t have anything in common with your sister, or can’t stand your college buddies, she’ll still respect what you believe, make an effort with your family and be willing to take one for the team every now and then with your friends.

9. She gives you space to breathe. Hate to break it to you, but if you feel suffocated, you are indeed being smothered. “Dump her if she doesn't understand that sometimes you need space, or if she cries, fights, or guilt trips you when you need some personal time,” says Frances. A girl who’s a great girlfriend will frequently give you a kiss and a wave as she heads out the door for manis and pedis with her friends—leaving you to fix cars, play video games or do whatever guy stuff you need to do in your alone time.

10. She’s not your usual type. There’s a reason you have exes, so why keep dating your type over and over again? If you’re suddenly into a tall brunette with a shy streak when you normally go for petite, outgoing blondes, you probably really like her. “Toss the list and be open to the possibilities of someone completely different,” Spira says. If a woman’s hooked you enough to break you from your usual relationship pattern, she’s most definitely worth your time.



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