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Fear of Commitment

Q: I've been seeing a woman for the last six months. Now she's pressing to date exclusively. I'm not ready to make a commitment, but I don't want to lose her. What should I do?"

A: Sorry Charlie, but you're gonna lose her if you don't step up. Now that your lady friend has made up her mind that she wants a commitment, she is not going to ease up until you give it to her. Most women don't want to be involved with a man who is either considering or actually having sex with other people, especially after several months of dating. You really only have three options:

1) commit
2) stall for time
3) leave

That's it. I'm a big believer in the first and last options, for they eliminate the drama of the middle one. You could stay, but she'll make you pay for not giving up the other women. She may withdraw emotionally or date other men—like your best friend—for revenge. My advice: Do yourself a favor and either pack your suitcase or burn the black book, but don't keep her hanging.

About the Expert:
Sil Lai Abrams is a relationship expert and author of No More Drama: Nine Simple Steps to Transforming a Breakdown Into a Breakthrough.

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