Last week, Love Systems' Nick Savoy give us his Seven Dating Rules for the Digital Age. This week, we asked Savoy to cover the other side: old-fashioned rules for meeting and attracting women that still work today. Because sometimes you’re not online, or don’t have your phone, or there just happens to be a gorgeous woman walking by, and if you don’t have some “old school” game, you’re going to miss your chance.
1. Learn to dance, not to cook
Unless your house is a lot more exciting than mine, you’re not going to meet women in your living room. Get out there. Bars and clubs are great for meeting women at night, and coffee shops are good for day game. But don’t just focus on these; there are lots of other great places to meet women, like dance classes, adult sports leagues, concerts, art exhibitions (not art galleries – I mean special events outdoors or in rented spaces), and improv or acting classes. And of course the gym.
That said, not every “non-traditional” place to meet women is worth your time. It seems that every dating advice article these days talks about cooking classes, art galleries or hardware stores. These are pretty much garbage. Only take venue suggestions from people who are actually out in the dating world walking to walk, not just talking the talk.
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2. Connect your eyes to your feet
When men find out that I’m a dating coach who has helped thousands of average guys date elite women, they usually ask me for my “secret.” But in truth, there’s no silver bullet that will get you more or higher-quality women. It’s about doing a lot of little things that add up.
But since I can’t duplicate a Love Systems three-day training program in a casual conversation, I usually give guys something simple but effective to get started with: the eyes-feet reflex. When your eyes see someone interesting, move your feet to go talk to her. Right away.
It doesn’t matter what you say (though having good opening lines definitely does help). The act of approaching right away does two things. First, it gives you a chance with her, which you won’t have if you don’t approach. (You know what they say: You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.) And doing it quickly is important because a lot of the time the window of opportunity is short, before she moves away or is talking to someone else. Second, it tells her that you are confident, decisive, and go for what you want. That puts you miles ahead of the guys nursing their drinks in the corner, trying to think of the right thing to say to go talk to her.