3. Remember: you’re not a Man for All Seasons
Hot women don’t have time to get to know every guy who shows interest. As a starting point, she is going to assume that you are similar to people who come across the same way you do. (You do the same; it’s a normal human impulse). Most important here is how you dress, what you talk about, who you are with, and where you go out.
Pick an aspect of your life, ideally one that is attractive to women, and express it. If you’re a hard-working business guy, dress sharp when you go out. If you’ve got a 9-5 job but are really into spiritual energy and healing, dress the part and have crystals in your pocket. (It’s not me, but some women are into that kind of stuff). And so on.
Don’t play it safe! No girl is ever attracted to bland and mediocre. The most desirable woman has lots of choice. She is going to a pick a guy who is exactly what she wants, not the man who is trying to be all things to all people. You can be multidimensional, but you should still have a primary identity.
4. Don’t confuse her with the Queen of England
OK, you’re out of the house, you’ve approached an attractive woman, you have an identity, and you’re talking to her. Now what?
Well, this is where the pedal meets the metal. We don’t have time to go into a lot of attraction techniques here, but one of the easiest is to tease her (appropriately). Beautiful women often crave a man who won’t put her on a pedestal or assume she’s stuck-up, a man who can just treat her normally. If you can tease and joke around with her, you show her that you’re on her level. (Would you tease the Queen of England? No.) You also show her that you’re not so intimidated by her beauty that you talk to her carefully and cautiously, like you’re defusing a bomb.
Teasing to get attraction is a big subject in itself (Love Systems produced an hour-long audio guide to teasing and attraction here), but here are a couple quick pointers to get you started:
> Tease the general, not the specific. You can make fun of her hometown, school, or job, most of the time. (E.g., “Oh, you’re from Kansas, that’s cool. Uncle Jimbo didn’t need you on the farm this weekend?”) You shouldn’t tease her about the size of her nose, hairstyle or name.
> It’s not about delivering hilarious one-liners; it’s about setting a mood. Laughter is a tension release most of the time anyway.
> Smile when you tease her. Use the same kind of tone you’d use if you were teasing your sister.
> Be prepared for her to tease you right back. That’s flirting. Don’t get defensive – as long as it’s not insulting, agree with what she says and exaggerate it.
It might take some practice, but you’ll get there. Now go forth and conquer!
Nick Savoy is the President of Love Systems and a frequent contributor to Men’s Fitness. Follow him on Twitter @LS_Savoy.