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From Online to In-Person: Navigating the First Date

How to take the conversation from the web to face-to-face.

Woman Getting Ready for Date

Think About it From Her Point of View

Your first meeting is about you, certainly, but says psychologist, sex therapist, advice columnist, speaker and author, Dr. Joy Davidson, the stakes are generally higher for her. “Remember that getting ready for a first ‘meet-up’ takes as much time and effort for a woman as a real first date,” Davidson explains. “She’ll spend time doing her hair, applying her makeup oh-so-perfectly, choosing the right outfit—all of which is easily an hour or more out of her day. You won’t be spending the same amount of prep time, so consider that her investment has already trumped yours, and make it worth her while.”  

Davidson suggests that you meet somewhere that you’d take a “real” first date, not just a “check-her-out” prospect. “You needn’t go so far as to spring for dinner, but a drink in a nice environment, or even lunch, will make a far better impression than coffee at the local Starbucks,” she says. “By treating her with respect, picking up the check, and in general being cool, you’ll win points. Granted, if you two don’t click, they might just be karma points, but if there’s chemistry, you’ll have avoided turning her off by lacking finesse.” 

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