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How I Knew She/He Wasn’t “The One”

Real-life red flags that you—or your now-ex-girlfriend—should have ended it then and there.


The problem: “I dated my ex for 3.5 years. To everyone looking in, he was the dream boyfriend, one of those guys who’s perfect on paper. But he was so "good" that he ultimately became very controlling of the way I made my day-to-day decisions and spent my time. He wouldn’t have a Pina Colada with me at the pool, because he didn’t want to drink during the day. I'm not even the party-girl type!” —Rachel, 25

The rationale: “Clearly there are lifestyle differences, and these do matter,” says Jonathan Alpert, psychotherapist and author of Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days. “Whether it be the food preference, vacation destinations, or simply how to spend free time, if a couple isn’t on the same page with these then the relationship will likely falter.”

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The problem: I was driving across the country and making the move to NYC, to be with my girlfriend. During this time, she opted to watch reruns of the Kardashians instead of chatting as I drove through the most boring states to be by her side. We broke up three months later." —Mike, 27

The rationale:The Kardashians are the guilty pleasure that you indulge in when you have nothing else going on,” says Rachel Russo, a dating, relationship, and image coach. "When she's zoning out in a reality TV fantasy world instead of getting excited about the reality of her and her boyfriend starting a new life together, its a sign things will be short-lived.”

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The problem: My boyfriend was the entrepreneur type. Despite being very caring, attentive, and spoiling me on occasion, he was in and out of town constantly! I felt like this was not real life – how could I be involved with someone who was in a different city every other week? We dated for four months, and things were relatively serious, but the fact that he wasn't around was really hard.” —Beth, 26

The rationale: “The distance was a deal breaker for this girl because she needed her boyfriend around to build a close relationship,” says Russo. “Clearly, they have different needs in the relationship.”

10 Ways to Know It's Time to Let Her Go>>>

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