How To Make Your Breakup Stick
Cutting ties with your ex? Survive the split in 10 easy steps.
Whether you’ve been together for two months or two years, breaking up is always easier in theory than execution. But despite how tough it sounds, having a “clean break” is not impossible—as long as you have the proper plan of attack. We spoke to three relationship experts, and with their advice, created a 10-step plan to help make your breakup stick. Here’s what they had to say:
Step 1: Sudden breakups are often the hardest ones to stick with, so the key to a clean break is planning in advance. “Even if you want to break up this moment, give yourself a few days to build a good case for why it has to be over," says sexologist Gloria Brame, Ph.D., the author of Sex for Grown-Ups. "Don't break up impulsively or you may go back and forth in your mind a thousand times."
Step 2: While you're mulling over whether you really want to cut the cord, distance yourself from your partner, advises Brame. “If you still feel the same a few days later, you will feel emotionally stronger and more definite that breaking up is the right decision.”
Step 3: As part of the “planning” process, it’s also important to consider how a split will impact all aspects of your life. “Think about financial practicalities as well as any other ties you may have, and ensure that your plans are realistic as a singleton,” advises Paula Hall, a relationship psychotherapist and author of How to Have a Healthy Divorce. If you’ve been living together, you'll need to figure out who’s going, who’s staying, or how rent is going to be covered.