How To Make Your Breakup Stick
Cutting ties with your ex? Survive the split in 10 easy steps.
Step 7: Social media is great for staying connected, but in this case it’s a surefire way to put yourself through a roller coaster ride of emotions. “Take a social media break!” says sexologist Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., author of Hot Sex Tips, Tricks & Licks. “As tempting as it may be to follow his/her every move on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, this will only make the breakup harder. Blocking, un-following, and un-friending are perfectly acceptable post-breakup.” O’Reilly also advises taking the high road when it comes to social outlets: “Remind yourself to stay classy. Public bashing, shaming, and airing of your dirty laundry is never constructive—and this includes passive-aggressive remarks.” Trash talking just makes you look like a bitter baby. Keep it together and act like she doesn’t exist.
Step 8: “Whether you chose to split or your ex did, you will still go through a period of grief and regret,” warns Hall. “Work through your emotions with friends and family, not your ex.” Expect to feel lonely at times, and anxious about the future, she says. “Those are normal emotions. It doesn’t mean you’ve made a mistake.” But the sooner you can get your manhood back, the sooner you’ll forget her altogether.
Step 9: You’re bound to run into situations that remind you of your ex—maybe it's smelling her perfume or going to a familiar hangout. “Whether these encounters leave you feeling happy, sad, angry, or entirely indifferent, fret not," says O’Reilly. "Every breakup is significant, and even relationship memories from long ago can make you emotional. Missing an ex is not necessarily a sign that you should get back together.”
Step 10: The best way to bounce back from a breakup? Start doing more of the things you love to do as an individual, and set some goals for yourself. “Did you ever feel that if your partner wasn't there, you'd being doing X? Do X now," says Brame. "Whether it's flirting with someone new, going to a place you were always curious about, adopting a pet, or getting to the gym more, you have the freedom now, so do it. The best way to move ahead is by actually moving ahead and picking up a new interest that will keep your mind occupied."