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How to Use Tinder with Tact

Six rules for navigating the dating space where looks matter most.

3. Pulp Fiction was wrong – don’t be a fonzie.

Don’t try to be cool and wait a couple days before messaging her. Send a message as soon as you seen that you’ve matched.

If she’s even a little bit attractive, she has millions of men matching with her. Don’t believe me?  Make a new profile with an attractive woman’s photos. Play on Tinder for 10 minutes. Then count your 8 trillion matches.

Women don’t usually spend all day on Tinder. They’ll pop in for a few minutes at a time. When she’s not in the app, she’s not seeing your messages. And when she comes back, she’s going to see the millions of matches that happened when she was gone. Buried 79 spots down in a list of matches, you’ll be yesterday’s news.

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4. Dude, enough about Peyton Manning already.

You matched. You’re about to send that all-important first message. Now (and only now) is a good time to check out her profile. Many Tinder profiles are blank and the ones that aren’t don’t usually tell you much. But check anyway – if you can find something natural to say that relates to her description or pictures, use that first.

But don’t go overboard. If she’s wearing a Broncos shirt in one of her pictures, and you just got back from Denver, say that. But don’t treat the topic as some kind of life raft you keep coming back to when the waters get choppy. One or two references are enough. And please, please skip the in-depth analysis of the Broncos’ off-season or Peyton Manning’s place in history.

Use her name in your first message. Everyone’s first name shows up in Tinder, and since Tinder is based on Facebook, it’s usually a real name. 

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