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Who Should Pay for a Date?

Avoid awkwardness with these three rules.

2. …Unless she orders a $300 bottle of champagne

Rule No. 1 doesn’t apply if she creates an awkward situation. On a recent first date, I opened a tab and we ordered a couple rounds of drinks. Then, without asking my opinion, she ordered a $300 bottle of champagne. Waiting for the bill for this was like listening to a ticking time bomb.

I sometimes tell this story to clients and ask what they’d do. Men who say that they would pay for the champagne are men whom I know will need extra training. The ability to recognize when to set boundaries and how to communicate those boundaries is one of the most important factors in being attractive to women. Women don’t want a pushover.

In fact, many women will consciously or subconsciously “test” you with various behaviors that push the envelope, just to see how you will react. It’s not generally as blatant as ordering an expensive bottle of champagne and doesn’t have to revolve around money, though it can.

Either way, you should never accept this sort of behavior. Even if you could easily afford the cost, you should value yourself more than to let a woman treat you like an ATM. On the other hand, don’t react emotionally. In this example, once I set my boundary, the woman told me she intended to pay for the bottle herself, and did. I’ll never know if that’s what she always intended, or if she just started backpedaling when I called her out, but hey, it resolved the situation.

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