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Online Dating Guide: Finding Ms. Right

You've found someone who piques your interest, here's how to make the first move.

Online Dating - Sending the right message

Do Your Due Diligence

Says’s dating columnist Caitlin Robinson, when contacting someone, you have to put a little effort into it. It’s a sentiment that’s echoed by pretty much every woman we spoke with. Wendy, a veteran online dater from the tri-state area concurs. “It sounds stupid and elementary,” she says, “but it shocks me how many guys—especially the ones in their 20s—don’t fully read the profile. Nothing is more annoying than a guy who takes shortcuts.”

She cites the following example: “Say I spend an entire paragraph talking about how one of my loves is spending time with my sister and rolling around with her two boys. When a guy asks me, ‘So, do you have any siblings?’ I’m like, ‘Can’t you even be bothered to read the whole profile?’ Or, I’ll have stated that if you do any drugs at all—even pot—you and I will not be a match, yet I hear from guys who are clearly into partying.”

Wendy’s cardinal rule for online dating is this: Don’t waste your own time and don’t waste other people’s time. “I can’t stress this strongly enough. Read the entire profile…the essays and the multiple-choice checklists—every site has their version. If a girl says, ‘I have allergies and asthma,’ and you have a dozen cats…you are not going to be a match. If the other person’s profile says, ‘I’m looking for long-term,’ and all you’re after is hooking up, give it a pass. Similarly, if you want something more serious, and all she’s into is random play, move on.”

Next: Scaling it back >>




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