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Relationship Mailbag

Our expert handles all your biggest relationship issues — in the bed and elsewhere

My girlfriend insists on documenting every moment of our lives online. How do I get her to stop?

It's one thing to post a picture on Facebook of the two of you looking buff on the beach in Acapulco, but it's another thing altogether when the photos show you in a "compromising" state, like say at Senor Frog's at four in the morning doing body shots. The remedy? Set some ground rules. Tell her she can blog about one date a week, no more. And no posting of pictures she wouldn't share with her grandmother — or future grandkids. If she still resists, then you may ultimately need to delete her.

 

Help! I like to have sex four times a week, while my girlfriend is happy with three or four times a month.

While you can't "make" your girl want to have sex more frequently, you can increase the chances of it happening. Desire begins in the mind, and if she is preoccupied with other things, it can be difficult to rally the energy needed for sex. Free up her time by tackling some of the chores that may be distracting her from you.

Also, try to be affectionate even when sex is not on the immediate agenda. (At least make her think it's not.) Women are most likely to be in the mood when they feel loved and valued outside the bedroom.

 

I'm certain that I don't want to have kids. When should I share this with the woman I'm dating?

While your decision to not procreate may be a dealbreaker for some, there are plenty of women who share your stance. By the end of the second date, it's reasonable to expect to know where the other stands on basic life goals, including children. That way, if diapers are in her future (baby, not adult), you can both decide to move on without resentment.

 

I have been with my wife for seven years and, although I love her, I am no longer "in love" with her. I'm not ready to leave her, but I'm finding it harder and harder to resist the advances of other women. What should I do?

The Seven-Year Itch is more than a movie, it's real. Keeping the passion burning long-term can be very challenging, but not insurmountable. Given that you are not trying to leave your marriage, turn your focus back onto your wife. Break your routines, set aside time to be alone without any distractions and steer clear of the forbidden fruit. While an affair can be exciting, it's not a solution. It's a distraction from what's really missing in your life.

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