The Career Girl
About her: She's got a continuous NASDAQ rating on her BlackBerry and looks at everything as a potential investment. Even you. Are you an asset or a liability? How will you age? What is your risk? She's watching your career moves like a shark, so whatever you do, don't get fired, or she may just decide it's time to refinance.
How to get her: A polished presentation. Think of your first encounter not so much as a date but rather as a full-fledged job interview. Review your career highlights, throw on your sharpest suit, and tell her about your ultimate lifetime ambitions (as long as they don't involve circuses, strip clubs, or any form of special risk insurance). Send flowers to her at work the next day, but under no circumstances call. That way, she can think about you all day without having you actually interrupt her work. For your next date, invite her to swing by your workplace for a quick lunch or happy-hour drink. Seeing you in a stable environment adds to your value in her eyes and makes you seem like a much more desirable acquisition.
The Pop-Culture Junkie
About her: Gossip is the driving force in this girl's life. She knows every character from every season of MTV's Real World plus its spin-offs, she obsesses over the latest YouTube videos, and she knows more about Jessica Simpson than you know about your own mother.
How to get her: Join her world, no matter how much it pains you. Read her favorite tabloid (don't worry, there will be few words and they won't be big ones) and bookmark pinkisthenewblog.com so you always know which jerk Paris is screwing and have something to talk about. Since the latest, hottest things are really what matter to this girl, plan your date around some big spectacle-the release of a much-hyped new movie, a blockbuster celebrity concert, a night at home watching a major awards show. She'll be so giddy by the time it's over, you'll barely have to make a move in order to turn on the charm.
The Girly Girl
About her: This cutie adores pink cell-phone covers, Hello Kitty key chains, and outfits with a matching theme or color. Her favorite topic of conversation? Boys, although usually hairless heartthrobs whose songs you've never heard. New York City-based makeup artist Kian Stave has heard all these girls' naughty stories firsthand while painting their faces. Her advice: "Remember, a girly girl does not date casually or adventurously, and she always plays by the rules."
How to get her: Steal from the movies. The ultrafem girl doesn't just douse her body with a layer of glitter and strive to smell like vanilla. She also eats, sleeps, and breathes the pantheon of women's lit: chick films, soap operas, and Oprah-all of which leave her crying at their sickly sweet tales or harsh warnings that all men are dogs. The only way you can possibly overcome this kind of force is to borrow from their pages. Take her to the county fair and win her a stuffed animal. Leave a bouquet of daisies outside her door, and she'll think you're the one. Have her meet you in some fantastical setting, such as the base of the Golden Gate Bridge, or Mount Rushmore, or whatever passes for a grand monument in your locale, and she'll be ready to reenact the trashiest scenes from her favorite Harlequin romance.