THE HARASSHOLE We all go to a gym for different reasons, but the end goal is fitness, not fraternity. Let the girls order their protein shakes in peace, keep the flirting to a minimum and remember: bars are made for socializing, gyms are made for exercising. If you're truly interested in a woman, keep it in your pants, take it home and plaster your walls in construction paper cut-outs of her like the rest of us. Whatever you do, for the love of Pete's hairy beanbag, don't gawp at her while she's splayed out like a snuff star doing hamstring curls. THE GOD OF WAR Easy, Dice Man. We know your bicep's bigger than the average human head, but there's no need to throw weights, howl and stare at everyone within range as if they all just farted. Lose the snarl, smile, nod, maybe even assist someone with a spot if asked, and we promise not to tell anyone you call your girlfriend "baby boo." THE LOG A typical rest period between sets is 30 seconds to two minutes. An average working set takes around 30 more seconds. So how is it that you're still sitting there, staring into space after 20 minutes? If you're going to idle, the cushions on the seats at the juice bar are more comfortable than the ones on the bench. THE LIVING PLANET Maybe you are the biggest or most ripped guy in the joint. Good for you! Being in great shape is an accomplishment—being an arrogant dick is an irritant. Mirrors in the gym are to check your form or to sneak a piggy glimpse of the girl doing hamstring curls, not to flex and admire yourself like an underwear model.