The New Rules of Dating
If you're in the dating game you need to know that the goalposts have moved. The good news is that it's to your advantage...if you know how to play by the new rules.
OLD: Talking Dirty.
● Talking dirty had one major advantage over sexting—you got to see her response. “Whisper in a woman’s ear that you’d love to see her naked and she’ll probably either stiffen and move away slightly, or giggle and blush,” Kerner says. “The way she responds physically provides a wealth of clues. But with texting, you’ve got only her words to go on.” And even then she has more time to consider her response, giving her more control over the situation. That’s why you have to take extra care with the timing and content of your texts. And that includes—ahem—“self-portraits.”
Take the initiative but then let the lady lead the way. “Send a subtle but suggestive text to start with,” Kerner says. “And then let her set the filth level. Never go beyond the level she’s at; otherwise you risk turning her off.”
OLD: Dating One Woman At a Time.
● Back in the day, there was only one type of steak on every menu: beef. Now you can try venison steak, tuna steak, even tofu steak... And it’s the same with dates. Online and mobile dating have expanded the menu. Now you can see as many women as you can fit into your schedule. Sounds great, doesn’t it? But read the small print: The same rules apply to women. She may be multi-dating you.
Stay on track. “If you want to avoid getting a bad reputation, stick to one date a night, don’t contact other women while on a date, and make sure you make a note of who’s who so you don’t use the wrong name,” Kerner says. “And don’t flip out if you discover she’s been multi-dating you, too."
READ HER LIPS
The words that come out of her mouth may not be the words she's thinking. Here's what she's really telling you when she says something else:
She says, "I'm not seeing anyone."
She means, I'm meeting lots of guys, I may even kiss or have sex with some of them, but I don't consider any of them to be my boyfriend.
She says, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now."
She means, I'm really not looking for a relationship right now.
She says, "I'll get this" (and pays).
She means, I'm a successful and confident woman. Can you deal with that?
She says, "Let's go to yours."
She means, You're sexy, but I probably won't return your calls after we've spend the night together.