Visual stimulation during sex does not always goes hand-in-hand with watching porn. She may not realize that not all stimuli needs to be X-rated. For example, tons of women prefer to leave the lights on during sex so they can admire their partner’s eyes, lips, and muscles, Herbenick says. Or it can be as simple as using a mirror as a prop to watch you and your partner get busy. The most important thing to remember: Men and women have difference preferences. “Most of the porn that’s out there is made for men, by men,” Herbenick says. “So just because that certain genre doesn’t cater to a woman’s sexual appetite, doesn’t mean that she won’t use visual aids to get in the mood.”
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