For the men out there who don’t know what women actually want in the bedroom, the good news is we’re here to pass on a few tips from sex experts that can possibly take your love life to the next level. The bad news is what works for one woman might not work for another.
“A woman tends to like positions that show off what she likes best about her body, that hide things she doesn’t like so much, and that drive her partner crazy with lust for her,” New York City sex therapist Stephen Snyder, M.D., says. “And beyond that, I think individual preferences might be very broad. A lot depends on the particular ‘fit’ between two people.”
But, here's more good news: Jessica O’Reilly Ph.D., sexologist and author of The New Sex Bible, agrees that sex experts and researchers can’t speak for all women, but says there are some sex positions that many women report are underused.
See, there may be some hope after all. You may come to find that the results you're looking for aren't down the path you first attempt, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the process along the way and continue to search for the solution by trying (and perfecting) these sex positions.
Where should you start? “Ask her directly,” Snyder says. “That takes courage, of course. But so do most things that end up being worthwhile.” If she seems hesitant to express what she wants at first, McDevitt suggests you encourage her, but understand where she’s coming from.
“Sex in general is not very comfortable for many people to talk about, especially their sexual desires, as that opens them up to vulnerability,” McDevitt says.
Griffin recommends creating a safe space to communicate in a loving and non-threatening environment. “Refrain from telling your partner what he or she is doing wrong,” Griffin says. “Nobody wants to hear about what they are doing wrong! Instead, compliment them on the things they do great and that you love and enjoy. Finally, follow it up with the sexual wants, needs, or desires that you would like more of. At the end of the day, we are responsible for our sexual pleasure!”