1. Reinstate date night
Whether you’ve been together a year or a couple of decades, it’s easy to fall into a rut. Bring back the romance from when you ﬁrst got together. Commit to spending one night a week as a couple, outside the house. Even if you’re just having dinner or going on a long drive, you’ll be amazed how much your relationship beneﬁts simply from the added one-on-one communication time it brings.
Ditch your technological mistress. When you and you partner are home together, try to spend at least 30 minutes a night unplugged and away from the Internet, cell phones, the XBox, DVR, and everything else with an on/off switch. Pour yourselves a few drinks, hop in the shower together, give each other back rubs, play cards—or just talk. Anything is ﬁne as long as you’re both making eye contact.
3. Focus on the good, not the bad
If the only thing you see in your girl is negative, most experts agree that your relationship is doomed. Try to rediscover what brought you together in the ﬁrst place. Studies show that couples who last are those who are the most upbeat and say more positive comments to each other on a daily basis. One easy way to get started: Think of one quirky thing she does that you love, and tell her about it.
4. Show her your appreciation
Most resentment in a relationship comes from one person feeling unappreciated. Once a week, take a few minutes to do some of the chores that traditionally fall into her domain. Empty the dishwasher or clean the cat’s litter box. Fold a few towels or vacuum the ﬂoor. Those ﬁve minutes of your time will yield big results later on.
5. Get steamy
Dedicate at least one hour regularly to sex—and commit to always trying something new. Watch porn together; turn on a Web cam; experiment with positions, locations, toys; act out fantasies—whatever it takes to help you get away from “real” life and think only about each other’s bodies.