Whether it’s your wife of five years or a chick you just met at a bar, sex is an incredibly intimate experience—especially for the woman. So when you’re in the bedroom (or elsewhere...you rebel, you), it’s important to avoid unnecessary commentary that could ruin the mood, or worse— make her not want to sleep with you again. From discussing your sexual repertoire to assessing her orgasm, here are five subjects to stay away from during sex.
1. “Not like that.”
Remember in grade school when you were taught to give “constructive criticism?” This does not apply to your lady in the bedroom. “It’s not very sexy or encouraging to be told our skills are subpar in the heat of the moment,” says Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure. “You should always frame it in the positive by talking about what you do like. How we say things to each other can make a huge difference in performance and sexual confidence.”
Also avoid: “What are you doing?”
2. “My ex used to love it when I...”
All women are different, so don’t lean heavily on past experiences—and definitely don’t discuss it. “Besides, who’s to say that the previous women didn’t fake their pleasure just to get you to finish quicker?” Levine says. ZING! Aside from that, Sexologist Gloria Brame, Ph.D. points out that “talking about your prior sexual encounters can drive a woman completely crazy—and not in a good way. She doesn’t need to hear about it, and if you bring it up, she’ll feel threatened and jealous. For a lot of women, that’s a dealbreaker.”
Also avoid: “Let’s try this position that I did one time with...”