Fear of ruffling your significant other’s feathers can cause you to clam up when it comes to talking honestly about sex. But sweeping hard-to-tackle topics under the rug can make finding out the answers (and changing bedroom behavior!) even harder. These must-have conversations are important to maintaining a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship—and with our expert-approved strategies for approaching each, you’ll know exactly how to set the stage for intimate talks that will bring you even closer together and keep your sex life thriving.
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1) The Test History Conversation
“My rule of thumb is that as soon as you know there’s some kind of mutual attraction, have the conversation,” says Laura Berman, Ph.D., a New York Times best-selling sex and relationship expert. It’s important to discuss STD and HIV tests, and the date of your last test. Lead the way by sharing your background first, says Berman. Simply saying, “I’ve been tested since I slept with some one last—what about you?” keeps the conversation light and less threatening. What doesn’t need to be discussed? Your “number,” says Berman. “All it does is create insecurities.” Whether you’ve been one other person or 100 people, a clean bill of health and a history of making safe decisions about your body are most important.