4) The Fantasy Conversation
Spilling scenarios that rev your engine gives your significant other the opportunity to bring your fantasy to life—ultimately bringing you closer together. But speaking up about sexy desires is easier said than done. If you’re uncomfortable, make an agreement that no judgment will be passed, says Berman. (After all, you can listen without having to jump on board.) Berman suggests creating a “fantasy map.” Both you and he will write down your desires and compare notes to create a master list. What if one of you is passionate about trying something the other doesn’t love? Identify where the desire comes from and brainstorm a creative compromise, says Berman. For example, if she wants to have sex in public—and you don’t—suggest laying down a blanket on the back porch where there’s a slight chance of your neighbors sneaking a peak.
5) The Cheating Conversation
What constitutes cheating and infidelity isn’t black and white. But tackling the topic of cheating is easiest—and met with fewer defenses—when it’s not prompted by suspicion. So don’t wait until something goes wrong to define what behavior won’t be tolerated. As a couple, make a list of acts that you consider cheating (do you draw the line at touching, but dancing is okay?). Don’t forget to consider tech: Will you know each other’s phone or email passwords? Will you be friends with your exes on Facebook or Snapchat?