5. Don’t be afraid to ask a salesperson for help. “You have to remember that nothing shocks them. It’s a judgment-free place,” says Somoza. She shares a personal experience as further proof: “I’ve gone in and seen a 78-year-old dude and his 35-year-old girlfriend buying a strap-on… and the employees yawn. These people have heard everything. Nothing shocks them!” To cut the awkwardness of asking for help, Somoza suggests saying things like, “We’re looking for some sort of couples toy. Can you point us in the right direction?”

6. Get over the idea of being replaced. Both Somoza and O’Reilly note that often men worry introducing a sex toy like a vibrator into their sexual repertoire will replace them. “The mass majority of women do not climax from vaginal intercourse, so clitoral stimulation is key,” says Somoza. “If you’re with a woman who doesn’t, you have to get her a vibrator. She’ll thank you for it.” Alternatively, O’Reilly suggests selecting a toy that you can use together. “There are items on the market designed specifically for use during intercourse. The new We-Vibe stimulates the G-Spot, the clitoral head and the penile shaft. It even comes with a remote control, which my clients seem to love!”

7. Don’t take yourself too seriously. They’re just toys! “Be able to laugh at yourself. Fear, or the fear of being rejected, is always the biggest downfall when it comes to this kind of thing,” says Somoza. “We’re not talking about cancer or war in the Middle East. We’re talking about amazing, pleasurable sex. We’ve been playing with toys since we were kids—these are just toys for adults!”