Women get a lot of flack for being “difficult” or “complicated” in the bedroom, but the reality is that there are so many ways to turn a woman on. Her body is teeming with undiscovered hot spots, begging for your attention.
Here’s your head-to-toe guide to her most frequently neglected erogenous zones.
Why it deserves your attention: The scalp is packed with nerve endings, but it very rarely gets touched. A nice scalp massage can feel both deeply relaxing and deeply arousing.
How to stimulate it: The scalp responds best to scratching. Curl your fingers and scratch in a straight line from the nape of her neck up to the top of her head. Move your hand away, and then repeat. Alternatively, try moving your curled fingers in circles across her entire head. Take a break by squeezing your fingers closer together to grab ahold of some of her hair (at the roots). Give her hair a gentle tug.
Why they deserve your attention: The ears are also host to tons of nerve endings. As a teenager, you probably spend a lot of time kissing your partner’s ears, but most of us tend to forget about this move once we’ve entered adulthood. Because of that, stimulating the ears can feel wonderfully nostalgic.
How to stimulate them: Lick along the outer curve of her ears. Kiss and suck on her earlobes. Take an earlobe into your mouth and gently nibble on it. Try to keep your breathing light so she’s not caught off guard by a big puff of air into her ear.
3. Nape of the neck
Why it deserves your attention: Most people pay attention to the front and sides of the neck, but the back of the neck is often ignored. This tends to be a much more sensitive spot for women than for men, so a lot of men don’t think to kiss or touch here.
How to stimulate it: Flip her over onto her stomach, and straddle her back. Lift her hair up and move it aside. Kiss from one shoulder to the other, moving across the nape of her neck. This is a great move to pair with a scalp massage. If she’s tense, you can also try a relaxing neck massage. Wrap one hand horizontally across her neck and squeeze.
Why it deserves your attention: Most couples tend to face each other during foreplay, so the back is often left out of the picture. But that’s a huge shame, because there are so many sensitive areas of the back.
How to stimulate it: A back massage is a great way to help her relax and get in the mood. Start by caressing her entire back first, then working your way up to a more intense kneading motion with your thumbs. Then try kissing her back, or tracing your tongue across it. Focus on the tops of her shoulders (combine with some nape of the neck action), along her spine, and the area where her lower back turns into her butt.
Why it deserves your attention: Most men don’t even know what the mons is. (It’s the area on top of her pubic bone.) It’s typically covered in pubic hair, unless she waxes or shaves. It’s packed with nerve endings, and tauntingly close to even more sensitive areas.
How to stimulate it: If she has pubic hair, run your fingers through it, lightly caressing the skin beneath. If she doesn’t have pubic hair, try this move: When you’re fingering or going down on her, press your palm against her mons and push up, towards her head. This feels good in and of itself, and helps expose her clitoris a bit more.
Why it deserves your attention: You should know by now that the clitoris is the most sensitive part on her body. Yet, far too many men still neglect the clitoris, preferring instead to focus on the vagina. Sure, penetration can feel good, but for the overwhelming majority of women, it’s nothing like clitoral stimulation.
How to stimulate it: The clitoris is so exquisitely sensitive that each woman has different preferences about the way she likes it to be touched. You’ll need to get feedback from her. But you can start with tracing circles around her clit with your tongue or a fingertip, without directly touching it. Some women can’t handle direct clitoral stimulation, so this move may be enough for her. If she pushes against you or says she wants more, try stroking across her clitoris in a back-and-forth diagonal motion.
Why it deserves your attention: The anus is absolutely packed with nerve endings. More and more people are opening up to the joys of anal play, but it can still feel taboo to many. That sense of taboo can make it even more thrilling.
How to stimulate it: This isn’t a move that you can pull on her out of the blue. Make sure she’s on board with anal play before trying it. It’s also best to pair it with oral sex or fingering, especially if she’s a little nervous. Put a bit of lube on your fingertip, and gently press against her anus. Most of the nerve endings are at the entrance, so you don’t even need to push inside. A little pressure is all you need.
8. Inner thigh
Why it deserves your attention: By the time you’re between her legs, you’re probably tempted to go straight for her genitals. But that’s a mistake, because the inner things are incredibly sensitive. They’re packed with nerve endings, and the tease of being so close to her genitals is sure to make her go crazy.
How to stimulate it: Tease her by spending plenty of time on her inner thighs. Start at her knee, and kiss your way up to the crease where her thigh turns into her labia. Spend a little time licking and kissing that crease, then head back down to her knee. Use your fingertips to gently caress the other inner thigh.
Why they deserve your attention: The feet tend to get ignored because they’re so far away from the rest of the action. But the feet have so many nerve endings, and can feel wonderfully sensitive. Focusing on the feet can be a nice tease.
How to stimulate them: You can help her relax by starting with a foot massage. Knead the soles of her feet with your thumbs, and squeeze each toe between your fingers. Or, after you’ve fingered her or gone down on her, kiss your way down, and kiss the tops of her feet and her toes. You can also try taking a bath or shower together, and sucking on her clean toes.