Ask any expert about a woman’s breasts and they’ll all tell you the same thing: men aren’t paying enough attention to them—at least when it comes to sex. “What I’m hearing from a lot of people is that men immediately go down south, because that’s where they get the most results,” says sexologist Dr. Stephen de Wit. “For a lot of women, breasts are an area of great pleasure, but it’s not an understood thing for men because we don’t have breasts—a lot of the information we learn is from the media and from porn.”
But fear not, guys. All hope isn’t lost. We’ve consulted the best experts in the biz to create a step-by-step guide to pleasuring her boobs in the bedroom. Both your lady—and her ladies—will be satisfied with these nine simple steps.
Step 1: Understand that not all breasts are the same.
“Each tit is a snowflake,” says sex expert Lora Somoza. Just because something has worked with one partner in the past, that doesn’t mean the same will work for your next partner. “There’s not one specific tip that’s going to be good for every woman. Some women want breast stimulation in the form of tender, soft teasing, and some want it rougher. You have to know your audience,” she says.
Step 2: Start out gently—until you know what she likes.
“Proceed with care and gently trace your fingers over their outer edges,” says sexologist Dr. Jessica O’Reilly. “Run your thumb lightly under the space where they fall and use only your fingertips to caress her as you breathe warm air over nipples. Avoid grabbing or kneading them.”