Step 3: Be a tease.
Dr. O’Reilly stresses that it’s not a bad thing. “Kiss her entire breast, but ignore her nipples for a few minutes,” she says. “Breathe over them provocatively, but don't make any physical contact until her body is writhing with desire. It may take some self-restraint on your part, but the build-up will be worth it when they tingle as she orgasms.”
Step 4: Communicate… without ruining the mood.
Sure, the idea of talking about your woman’s breast preferences in the heat of the moment doesn’t sound like the sexiest maneuver, but it will benefit both of you in the end. And Dr. Stephen de Wit stresses the importance of doing it in the moment. “It can be a bit awkward to bring up, so while you’re touching or caressing her, say things like ‘Do you like that? Does that turn you on?’ It doesn’t have to be clinical.”
Step 5: Let her be the teacher.
Dr. de Wit also encourages the idea of showing, rather than telling. “By passing the power on to her, she gets to be the teacher, he says. “You can say things like, ‘Touch yourself and show me what you like.’ That can be really erotic.” Dr. O’Reilly suggests trying out positions that let the man hold her breasts in place to get a better idea of her preferences. “Reach around from behind during doggie-style or place her own hands on her breasts as she rides you so she can show you just how she likes to be touched,” she says.
Step 6: Pay attention to her reactions and breathing.
Says de Wit: “Be aware of what’s going on with the rest of her body—her breathing, the way she moans, her flush.” But don’t ignore the breasts themselves: Sexual arousal causes more blood flow to the breasts, and often results in the breast tissue swelling up to 25%. “Reddening of the skin on the breasts and darkening of the areolas are also good signs she’s into it,” he advises.