WITHOUT CONFRONTING HER, HOW CAN I TELL IF MY GIRLFRIEND IS “FAKING IT”? —RICK W., MARSHALL, WV
Truth is, she may be. Perhaps only on rare occasions, perhaps more often. The problem is, there’s no real way for you to know for sure. Even if you ask her, what’s she going to say? So instead of worrying about if she is or isn’t engaging in bedroom theatrics, focus on making sex as satisfying as possible. That’s what you’re really going for at the end of the day anyway, right? Ask her what positions she likes, how she enjoys sex the most (fast, slow, rough, soft), and what her fantasies are. See if there’s anything you could do better or more often. Be aware of how she’s responding to you. What are you doing at the times she seems really into it? What actions seem to excite her?
If you truly want to get to the bottom of her orgasms, confront her but keep your questions exploratory rather than accusatory, like, “Do you have different types of orgasms?” and, “What am I doing when you’re having the best ones?” Instead of launching some fruitless investigation, I’d advise you to focus on being the best lover you can possibly be. Even if she’s lied about crossing the finish line, remember: In sex, it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey.