You’ve stripped the wall of the faded The Big Lebowski poster you salvaged from college, trashed the half-dozen Xbox games you’ve been using as beer coasters, and dusted most of the suspicious organic stuff off your coffee table. Still, your last date bolted even before you could light the incense to cover up the microwaved-burrito smell. What gives?
“Women enjoy an environment that they can feel safe and secure in,” says Ian Kerner, sex counselor and author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. “Relaxation plays a huge part in female arousal and in the female orgasm.”
It’s not entirely your fault; women notice things we don’t. But with the right info, you can turn your home, office, and car into an army of inanimate wingmen (who won’t move in on your girl when you’re not looking).
Siski Green, author of How to Blow Her Mind in Bed, suggests planting fruit. “Put out a bowl of fruit—it tells her you care about your health and that you go shopping more than once a month,” Green says. “Healthy eating indicates that you’re the kind of guy who thinks beyond the next day, and she’d like to think she’ll last at least that long.”
Kerner recommends displaying a photo of close relatives. “It gives a sense that you’re part of a family, and shows a degree of comfort with them,” he says. Having photos of nieces and nephews, of you as a kid, or of your parents or siblings is always good. Just keep that portrait of your mom out of the bedroom.
Both Kerner and Green agree that personalizing your office space makes a difference—the kind that can turn an innocent deskside lunch visit into the best closed-door meeting of you life. “To make your office space sexier to her, put up some postcards, party invites, or a photo of your dog or of a child relative,” Green says. “The more you can personalize, the more conversation starters she has when she wants to connect with you. It tells her that there’s more to your life than the office— essential if you want her to consider you in a serious way.”
Having a tidy and not overly flashy car will prove you’re modest. “There’s no such thing as a sexy rear-mirror accessory or nice-smelling air freshener,” Green says. “Forget about racing stripes or funky hubcaps: that suggests you think your car is more important than it is.” Instead, she suggests, “treat it like the machine that it is. Maintain it (not just the engine, but inside, too!), but don’t lavish it with love.” And, for the love of God, keep your backseat clear.