Get Her Off!
10 surefire ways to satisfy any woman
MF TECHNIQUE: Invite a friend along. Whether it's just her kissing a girlfriend as a tease to fluff you up or a mutual friend who loves to watch, adding a "third" will heat things up, leaving her giddy and squealing with anticipation. Hint: See if she's game first. Then, ask her to make the suggestions for prospective candidates.
BEST WHEN: You're with a group and everybody's loosened up with booze.
WARNING: Don't let things between the three of you progress too far, or there's a chance the third may try to take your place in the relationship.
The Toe Curler
MF TECHNIQUE: Grab a massager and use it to knead each butt cheek and thigh-then gently move to the middle. The vibrating sensation will heighten sensitivity throughout her legs, from her hips to her toes - and everywhere in between.
BEST WHEN: You're feeling lazy.
WARNING: Keep the vibrator on the lowest setting and only use it occasionally. Too much power could desensitize her or cause her to leave you for a six-pack of double A's instead.
MF TECHNIQUE: Use your tongue. You don't have to be Gene Simmons- it's all about the speed and duration of your lapping. Forget the alphabet trick-find a rhythm she likes and stick to it.
BEST WHEN: You have plenty of uninterrupted time to spare.
WARNING: Make every motion count. If your skills are weak, she may decide she doesn't want you going south again.
MF TECHNIQUE: Take it to the water-hot tub, pool, bathtub, or shower. This works best as foreplay: Get her steamed up and then head to a patio chair or the bedroom to finish her off.
BEST WHEN: You want to get riled up by seeing her shiny and soaking wet.
WARNING: If you're in the hot tub or pool, don't try a trip down under unless she's sitting on the edge, out of the water.
MF TECHNIQUE: Bring her to the edge using whatever means necessary, then nail her with the kind of hard, fast sex she'll be begging for. Go deep and let her grind against you, and she'll be over the edge in no time.
BEST WHEN: She hasn't had the big O in a few days.
WARNING: Unless you're a painter, you may need to hire someone to touch up the nail furrows in the drywall.
The Lip Biter
MF TECHNIQUE: Even through fabric, what you once unromantically called "dry humping" still works. If you're out somewhere, pull her into a secluded area and grind up against her (or do it subtly while you're standing behind her in line for a table), or get her to uncross her legs so you can slip your hand under the table or into the passenger seat.
BEST WHEN: You can't wait to get home.
WARNING: Watch out in family restaurants - or while driving. Otherwise, your adventure could lead to flashing sirens, tickets, and mug shots.