Last Longer in Bed! Sex Experts Tell You How
It’s no fun for her (and embarrassing for you) when it all ends... too early. We got top sexologists to reveal eight secrets for having longer, better sex.
1. Study the Kama Sutra. “There is a technique mentioned in the Kama Sutra for delaying ejaculations that basically comes down to training yourself to last longer,” says Harper. She instructs men to start slowly—with no more than one “in/out” stroke every three seconds. “He should then build more strokes slowly over the course of 4 or 5 minutes, until he is moving one stroke per second.” If the man starts to feel like he is going to come, he should stop and “hold himself inside his partner until he feels in control again. Then he begins the whole process again.”
2. Get Out of Your Head. “Performance anxiety is the number one killer of sustaining an erection,” says sex coach Dr. Patti Britton, a board-certified Clinical Sexologist. “Shift your thinking to a more confident inner voice, as opposed to a worried voice.” Britton explains that a “self-debilitating mindset” is what shuts guys down. “When you begin to feel anxiety, the strategy is to stop, take a breath, and then focus on how things feel in the body. Stay out of your head and get into your body—focus on the feelings that your body is producing for you.”
3. Change things up. The best thing to do if you’re getting close to the edge? Alter your speed, advises human sexuality expert Catherine Toyooka, the founder of Catherine Coaches sex workshops. “Try teasing her. Take your penis out and rub just the head of it sensually up and down and between her labia. Vaginas have lots of nerve endings clustered in the lower portion of their vaginal canal, so this move will still be very enjoyable for her to experience.”