Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., psychotherapist and sex therapist: Women can be shy about getting oral sex. They may be nervous about the smell or taste of their bodies, so tell her you love both, and going down on her excites you.

They may also worry they’re taking too long, so assure her there’s no hurry—you’ll stay down there as long as it takes.

Finally, it can be hard for women to express their sexual needs, so encourage her to guide you by asking her to either moan when she likes it or show you with her own hand.

Moushumi Ghose, pyschotherapist and sex therapist: For some women, cunnilingus is too gentle—they need it a little rougher than your tongue is able.

So while you go down on her, try stimulating other areas, too—use two fingers inside her, caress the anal area, or play with her nipples.

If that doesn’t work, don’t push it—just ask her what she wants.

Jena Friedman, writer and stand-up comic: People like all sorts of different things in bed. Why not do a national survey and find out how many women enjoy it?

Just kidding, don’t fake-survey women about their sexual desires—we’ve had a rough few months.

Try these 7 tips to give her the best oral sex of her life and avoid these 5 common misconceptions